Overstimulation, Dysregulation and Behavior, Part 2 (Or, How to Forgive Yourself for Not Making Everything Be Perfect)

My dear friend and fellow autism mom, whom I will call Cicilia, read my account of the Great Birthday Cake Spitting Incident of 2014. See my post "Overstimulation, Dysregulation and Behavior (Or, How to Set Your Child Up to Fall Apart at a Birthday Party)". And Cicilia wrote the most lovely response to me:

I am sorry that the incident happened as I am sure it was upsetting. I have seen the accumulative effect of overstimulation in [her son Rafael] many-a-time. And I always end up blaming myself. From one loving mom to another, don't be hard on yourself!

Sometimes we have to push the limits. Sometimes the results are surprising (wow, my kid really held it together) and sometimes not so much. I feel like I hold back too much after 'being burned' or 'learning the hard way'. But our kids grow and mature.  And things change.

One of my big goals for [Rafael] is that he be able to recognize stress, overstimulation and emotion in himself so that he can express it appropriately. It will take many, many years of work. Until then, we keep plugging along ...

I am most appreciative of her reminder that we need to forgive ourselves when things do not go well, despite our best intentions.  

The support of other autism parents is an incredibly powerful thing in my life. For those of you starting out on this journey, I urge you to reach out to other autism parents to share stories with people who understand what you are going through. 

Thank you, Cicilia!