It is OK to talk about autism

Happy new year, everyone! Things got a bit intense during our holiday period and the time afterward, but I think we are back on track now. Except for the date. See below.

Singularity is still creating his interesting installations. Here's a series, featuring a blue silicone mini-potholder that reminds me of Kermit the Frog:

He gets around, blue Kermit does! 

Singularity has a new friend, whom I’ll call Edison. Edison is one year ahead of Singularity in school. Singularity has known Edison for several years, but they never became friends until this year. Edison also has autism and had been feeling sad that he didn’t have any friends at school. Edison’s mom and I had been idly talking about getting them together for months, and when we finally did they both hit it off. Enjoyed spending time together. (I’ve been explaining colloquial expressions a lot lately.)

Edison has been joining Singularity in his ABA session one afternoon a week for the last couple of months. They both have things to work on, although the sessions are oriented toward Singularity’s needs. The sessions have been going well.

So, Edison wanted to know if he could have a sleepover with Singularity. I think that in Edison’s mind their relationship wasn’t a true friendship until they had had a sleepover. We scheduled one for the first weekend of the new year.

Incidentally, Singularity was not happy about the coming of the new year. There is a self-care task that I had told him he would have to learn to do in 2014, so he decided that the way to avoid learning to do it is to make 2013 last forever. Today's date is December 47, 2013. Singularity has such a clever mind that he comes up with these convoluted work-arounds. I should know by now that we should never attach a goal to a calendar date. That may work for other children, but not Singularity!

Anyway, the sleepover went really well. Singularity and Edison slept together in the fold-out sofa bed in my office, and Edison’s mom slept in Singularity’s bed (the most comfortable bed in the house). We mostly adhered to Singularity’s bedtime and wake-up routines, but I had told him in advance that our bedtime and wake-up reading would be different, because Edison probably wouldn’t enjoy reading Holes (bedtime) and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (morning) if he hadn’t been reading them already. What we did read as a few profiles from Different Like Me: My Book of Autism Heroes. This felt momentous, as this was a book I thought Singularity would resist.

One of the great things about Edison is that he loves talking about autism. I think that he has integrated his autism into his sense of self. Having a conversation about autism with Edison normalizes the subject. There are others with autism, and it is a perfectly natural thing to talk about. The title of that book is wonderful: Different Like Me. I wonder if it is a kind of relief for Singularity to be with other kids with autism. This isn’t something he talks about, at least not now.

The wonderful thing about the boys’ friendship is that it brought me a new friend in Edison’s mom. After the boys fell asleep we stayed up for hours talking. She’s different like me, too.