Of Singularity.
Of myself.
As for Singularity, in February 2013, after he had not spoken to his father in approximately 5 months and after ABA therapy had failed to make meaningful inroads into the stalemate, it became clear that what we were trying was not working. It wasn't only that Singularity's relationship with his father was dysfunctional. His relationship to the world was too.
The first half of third grade was a very difficult for Singularity. We were only able to get him to school kicking and screaming, at length, on the first day. His fight or flight instinct was activated in a major way. The following days were not much better. There was a lot of communication between home and the special education teacher. There were behavior contracts. And through it all Singularity insisted that he was not actually a member of the class, and he spent a lot of the time in his "quiet place," which was a dark corner with pillows.
He was just really anxious, and really depressed.
His developmental pediatrician suggested that we try Prozac, so we did. (He takes an extremely low dose, 6 mg per day.) And it made all of the difference. After about three weeks on Prozac, Singularity began speaking to Klailklop again. He began to emerge as a member of his class.
I believe that we need to give our children the best possible baseline for their development in life. Prozac is helping Singularity. It has allowed him to exist on the higher end of his ability. It has raised the bar for him. We will continue using it until it doesn't help any more. Then we will try something new. End of story.
As for myself, honestly, I don't know if the Celexa I take is doing anything or not. I began taking it around the same time that Singularity started his Prozac. There was no sudden transformation in me. But then again, February 2013 was about the lowest point for me, in terms of the degree of dysfunction between my husband and child and in terms of the burdens of being essentially a single mother who happened to be married and living with her husband. This was on top of the general stresses of parenting an autistic child, whose response to different life situations is often unpredictable. There were days when I actually took a beta blocker to diminish the visceral symptoms of the anxiety I had over getting Singularity to school in the morning. I needed a better baseline myself. And though I was feeling this acute anxiety from time to time, I am sure that it was nothing compared to the anxiety that Singularity was experiencing.
In any case, after Singularity and I both began taking antidepressants, it got better. Singularity returned to being his own delightful self. It became easier for me to take care of him and to deal with the whole situation. Our family dynamic improved.
I have started joking with my friends that when "they" hand parents an autism spectrum diagnosis for their child, they should also hand them a prescription for their own antidepressants!
